Category: Parenting

“You know that school in Amberpet? Yeah. It is an excellent school. My cousin’s daughter studies there and is doing very well.”

Influence. It has been known to make people think multiple times even about their rock-solid decisions. If the other person’s influencing powers are exceptional, we fall prey even without realizing it. Only later does the mistake become evident and by then it is too late. We can let this pass for small decisions such as buying a new pen or selecting a new soap but not when it comes to deciding the right school for your little one(s).

Choosing a school is a life-altering decision that needs you to factor in a number of things. So, blindly listening to what a friend has to say or choosing the school the neighbor’s kid goes to can be a very, very bad idea.

In 2018, many parents committed unforgivable school-choosing crimes that went way beyond just influence. We do not want you to be another bad statistic. That is why we have come up with this list that speaks of the most common but dreadful mistakes that parents made this year.

Choosing a school far, far away

It actually saddens us that this mistake tops the list. In their haste to find the best school in Hyderabad, many parents forget that distance is an important factor. We cannot choose a school that takes away an hour so in commute!

School is very tiring and children just want to come home soon after a long day. The journey back shouldn’t be another hour-long ordeal now, should it? Back in the day, it made sense because we had very few good schools. The story is different today and by no means should you make your child travel so much every single day for over a decade!

P.S. The time saved could be spent sharing the happenings of the day with you! 

Making it ALL about academics

There is no denying that academics are important but emotional, social, and physical development are just as important. Textbooks do not cover these!

Children who spend their childhood with only academics on their plate have been known to have poor social skills. Physical and emotionally, too, they are weaker than their counterparts.

Choose a school that has a vast playground and amenities for extra-curricular activities. Choose one that balances every aspect of growing up. It is far more crucial that you would think!

Deciding without talking to the teachers

Many parents visit the school before taking a call about admissions but they only speak to the principal. Remember, the principal is not going to teach the children. Talking to a few teachers will give you an idea of the classroom environment.

Ask them a lot of questions about the teaching methodology, emotional support, facilities, activities, workshops, etc. This will help you compare schools and choose the best.

Judging only by the brand

Most of us are caught up in the whole “oldest school” or “best school” trap and we end up making poor choices as a result. Of course, the brand matters but, as we said earlier, we cannot compromise on other factors just for the brand. What if the school is too far away? What if they do not have modern facilities? What if the curriculum is different from what you had your eye on?

It is almost a crime to decide only based on how old a school is or how amazing rankings say it is. Consider all other criteria too!

P.S. A few new schools are revolutionizing the way children are taught. You may want to check them out too!

Going blindly by social media

This is another common mistake these days. All of us are on Facebook and Twitter, and we fall trap to what others are saying without doing our own ground research. Don’t do that!

If you are preparing to start sending your child to school in 2019, we urge you to take all these into consideration and make the smart choice. After all, your child is counting on you for his/her entire life.

“Have enough courage to trust love one more time and always one more time.” ―Maya Angelou

Targeted bullying, teasing, name-calling, and abusing are sadly more common today than in the generation before the millennials’. If you have a child who’s being bullied at school, or if you know someone who needs advice on handling such a situation, this article is for you. The following are some tips to help you sail through.

1. Keep your calm: We all tend to react strongly in the face of adversity. This is why we think it is important for you, as a mother, to stay strong and look at the positive side of things.
   Instead of thinking of your child as a victim, look at it as an opportunity for him/her to grow into a stronger person. Remember that your child only draws courage from you. 
2. Listen: You might already know that being bullied leaves deep scars on your child’s confidence and self-esteem. Before you react strongly or blame your child for what happened, remember to listen to everything he has to say. After you listen to your child’s version of the incident, don’t brush it off as unimportant. It is important for your child to understand that you are always there to support him if he needs help. 
3. Talk to his friends and teachers: We all love our kids immensely. Even the idea that they are being harmed can be deeply painful. We understand this. However, before you react to what your child reported, always find out the other side of the story. Your child’s friends and teachers can help you understand the situation from both the sides. 
4. Talk to your child: Bullies draw strength from our fear. Help your child understand that he is not alone. It is important for him to know that he is just as strong and competent as any of his peers. Let him see that those who bully others often do it to seek attention, or to feel better about themselves. Bullies often suffer from their own insecurities. When your child sees that bullies are not inherently bad people, he will develop an attitude of courage and tolerance. Your child needs to know that he can approach his friends, parents, or teachers if the situation gets really out of hand.
5. Ask for help: Bullied kids may become reclusive and taciturn. You may not always be able to get your child to talk to you. In such cases, ask support from your spouse, teachers, or a counsellor. This will help keep your own emotions in check, and also helps you take more rigid decisions.

It is natural for us to react to such incidents with hatred for the bully. This is why we need to remember that the best way to combat hatred is through love. Some courage, lots of love, and a calm head can help you sail through tough times without too much trouble. We wish you good luck and great happiness!

1. Your child’s temperament:

   Is your child strikingly creative with his hands? Does your daughter sing beautifully? Can your son recite all math tables up to 20 without even attending school? Is your son unusually quiet for his age? All these traits give important clues about your child’s natural aptitude and temperament. If you manage to identify this talent and nourish it, your child might shine out more than he would if he attends a regular school like every other kid.

   This is why the most important factor to consider while selecting a school is whether the school fits your child. Enquire and observe whether the school you pick can provide a conducive environment for your child’s natural talent to flourish.

2. Faculty and peer group:

   Whether we approve of it or not, our children are going to spend more time at school than in your presence. This time also happens to be the most crucial time of their formative years. And since “one is the company one keeps”, it goes without saying that faculty and peer group play a large role in shaping your child’s personality.

   If necessary, visit the school and interact with the teachers and students at your child’s school. This is a factor you just can’t afford to ignore.

3. Student to teacher ratio:

   This is an important, and often ignored factor. A class of medium-strength is always better than a class stuffed with children. You children need their teachers’ attention to flourish. If the teachers are over-worked, they may not have the time to talk to each child and clarify individual doubts. Also, in an overly-populated classroom, the teachers may not have the scope to observe, correct, and appreciate the behavior of each child. Appreciation is as important to growth as criticism.

4. Environment:

   As mentioned, your children spend some of the most important years of their life at school. It is therefore, necessary that the school must be a convivial, and joyful place as opposed to an overly-strict, somber place. Remember that your children are beautiful bits of life and that they need an environment conducive to their growth, not a military camp!

5. Curriculum

   Unlike old times, educational institutions today are coming up with new and better curricula to accommodate student-centric learning. Make your choice based on how often you ward needs to change schools, and how widely accepted a curriculum is.

6. Attitude towards the disabled:

   A school is a child’s first brush with the society. It is at school that your child gets to meet people outside his family and friends. This is where he develops tolerance for ideas and people other than his own. This is why choosing a school that best reflects the diversity of our society is undeniably important.

7. Education experience:

   It goes without saying that education is so much more than what is summed up in your child’s report card. Look for a school that accommodates your child’s physical, moral, social, creative, and even spiritual needs. What you sow today is only what you get to reap tomorrow.

In addition to the above mentioned, you might also want to consider a school that offers student counselling and communicates with parents regularly. But above all, choose a school that wouldn’t take the fun out of your child’s childhood!

No matter how much we love our parents, we all have complaints against their slightly overbearing attitude. If you ever tried convincing your parents to send you camping, you know what we mean. From petty arguments about sleepovers with friends, to “serious” disagreements about which stream to choose in eleventh grade, there must have been times in your life when you wondered why Indian parents are so overprotective. This is a light-hearted attempt to explain why India parents are so….well, ‘not cool’.

• They love you immensely:It is true what they say about love. Too much of it can sometimes be suffocating. Unlike in other parts of the world, in India children spend at least a quarter of their life with their parents. This leads to deeper parent-child bonds here. Though that is indeed beautiful, parents might sometimes forget that children need to fall in order to fly.
• They care for your safety:News reports of increasing crime rate are enough reason for Indian parents to worry about their children’s safety. This is the reason behind that inevitable ‘no’ to all your outing requests. Though this is frustrating, you must understand that your parents are playing the ‘rules-and-strictness’ game for your own safety.
• They were brought up similarly:We all emulate our parent’s actions. So is the case with your parents. Remember that your parents too were kids once, and that they too lived by the same rules and curfews. Maybe they are still following the same rules. Why not?
• They try to protect you from the mistakes they made:It goes without saying that your parents have more experience with life than you do. They too went through the same phases that you are going through now. There must have been a time when they too preferred parties to study-hours. They too must have failed hard, and learnt from those missteps.This is why they wish to clear the path for you. They want you to benefit from those hard-earned lessons of their failures and mistakes.

• They try to do what’s best for your future:Their experience with life and failure must have taught invaluable lessons to your parents. As their heirs, you naturally inherit these lessons for living a good life. Understanding that your parents only wish everything that’s best for you shifts your perspective and helps you better appreciate your parents’ motives.After all,intention is often more important than the action itself.
• They may not understand your version of the story:Though your parents were children once, the conditions that they lived in as kids changed drastically since. As children of today, you are a part of a digital, global village. You will be facing entirely different challenges from your parents’ time. This is why it is important for you to talk to your parents and help them see things from your perspective.

Generation gap is not a new phenomenon. In a world of constant flux, it is not only inevitable, but also necessary as it represents progress. With a little patience and some love, it is not too hard for you to seal a convivial bond with your parents, without compromising on your dreams. Why do you think Indian parents tend to be overprotective? Let us know your thoughts in the comments below.

Our years were easy, weren’t they? We had puzzles and outdoor games to keep us occupied and our parents could keep an eye on us without batting a lid. We had fixed TV timings and we could never take the (wired) phone to bed. Smooth.

Times are drastically different now and among the biggest worries a parent has is the smartphone. The phone may be smart but it comes riddled with trouble. And, our kids? Our kids do not want to hear a no.

One might argue that kids need a phone to keep safe and for parents to always keep track of where they are but it doesn’t end there, does it? There are pitfalls. The child is more interested in the phone than in his surroundings (thank you, social media), he uses it in his bed until who-knows-when, and exchanges texts that are pure nonsense.

According to a recent study by an organization named Common Sense Media, 41% teenagers are addicted to their smartphones. It is possible that your child is one of them. Again, it can be infinitely hard for you to keep your child away from the phone but the strings are still in your hands. You can control their usage and alleviate their obsession. Still clueless? Let’s go over a few easy ways:

Cut down your own smartphone usage in front of the kids

Yes, this one’s been repeated constantly but it is bang on. Let’s not waste time denying our own love for technology, here. Let’s accept facts and work towards changing our own behavior.

Many things may have changed through the years but the fact that kids pick up most habits from parents remains true to this date. The more your kids see you on the phone, the more they will stick to theirs. Keep your phone away when kids are around and engage them in conversation, activities, and more. Set a good example so that you don’t hear back talk (annoying, isn’t it?) or feel guilty when reprimanding your children.

Make sure their schedule is full (but don’t suffocate them)
Let’s go back to our childhood again. We had sports camp, math club, painting, dancing, and what not. There was so much beyond the TV. Happy days!

Encourage your child to participate in different sports and activities. Swimming, music, arts – you name it. Explore his talent or interest and boost it. This will not just give him less time to be on the phone but it will also keep him fit, extend his neurons, and engage him in many different things. Talk double strike!

Make your child earn his time on the phone

Kids love their smartphones but you already knew that. This is around the time when you get a little crafty and use this to your advantage. Make smartphone use time a reward; make your child earn it. Be it daily chores or homework or behaving oneself during a get together, time on the phone is the best incentive for today’s kids.

The trick here is to never make your child feel like he/she truly owns the phone. It should be clear that you are in control and you can take the phone away just as easily as you gave it to him/her.

Another thing that works is setting rules right from day one. You ought to set fixed timings for phone usage. You can take the phone away during the night. You must, in fact. Phones are the number one reason why kids don’t get enough sleep and we are not going to waste time discussing the repercussions of that.

Limit data usage with prepaid plans

This is another step towards controlling smartphone usage. Choose prepaid SIM cards so that they usage is minimal and they learn the value of being penny-wise. Another double strike!

Now, don’t get carried away with good behavior or mollycoddling from your little one. He will try everything possible to extract a better data plan or more talk time out of you. Stay firm. (You can do this, yes!)

Use technology to beat excess use of technology!

Only a diamond cuts a diamond. Being strict can only take you so far in this superfast-paced world. To be a step ahead you will have to take additional steps such as enabling the parental control features their smartphone offers.

Android and iOS phones provide their own ways of parental control. Android allows you to restrict what your child can see in the Play Store. iOS, on the other hand, has a dedicated feature to limit your child from using certain apps as well as accessing content on the App Store.

Also, always, always knowing the phone’s password will help you to a great extent. Set this as a ground rule even before you buy your child a phone and he will be in line right from the beginning.

Call it a necessary evil or a modern day curse, you cannot keep your child away from it for too long. Be analytic as a parent (since you know your child the best) and know when the right time to give your child a phone is. After that, all you have to do is be aware.

Smartphones are not as bad as they are portrayed! Don’t you think so too? We’d love to hear your side of the story. Do tell us in the comments section.